All Good Things
by Happy Varren
Summary: With his death drawing nearer, and Earth slowly burning to cinder, Thane Krios reaches out to Commander Shepard after six months of silence. A bittersweet reunion in the turmoil of war will test their resolve, and push the boundaries of love.
1. Chapter 1

~This war never seems to end. Not just with the Reapers, but with the whole galaxy. So much fighting and death, struggling against all odds on the hope that we can rise above. I don't know how much longer I can do this before that hope is lost. Earth is burning, Palaven and countless others, entire worlds scorched and consumed. Somehow open space, with all its distant stars, seems peaceful and quiet despite the chaos, the darkness blanketing everything in that cold, indifferent silence. How many galaxies are sharing this struggle beyond our reach? How vast is the reach of the Reapers? Is it only us, or is the whole universe burning? Questions I can never hope to find answers for, not in my lifetime, maybe not in anyone's lifetime if the Cycles continue like this. 50,000 years isn't long in the grand scheme of things, and if we don't put a stop to the Reapers now, maybe no one ever will, and eventually sentient life will pass away like another dying star. Knowing that possibility is on the table only steels my resolve, forces me to keep fighting even when I feel like I've got no more fight left in me.

I got a message from Thane, telling me he's in the hospital at the Citadel. Part of me is afraid to see him again; it's been a while since he left the Normandy to be with his son, and I'm not sure how advanced his illness is, if I'll even be able to recognize him. Mostly I'm afraid of rekindling the memories, dredging up what we shared, knowing what I know. I don't want to face that reality. As long as I stay away, as long as I stay in the dark, his illness will never advance beyond the point it was at when he served with me on the Normandy. He'll never be in danger, and he'll never die. As long as I stay away, I can make up whatever reality I want...

We'll arrive at the next mass relay in a few hours on a course to the Citadel. I'm going to try and drown out my thoughts with music, maybe get lost enough in it that I'll manage to sleep before we get there. Here's hoping.

Shepard out.~

The recording program clicked off, the small video playback display flickering away as Shepard leaned back slowly in her chair, pushing out a long breath. One hand slid back over the the shorn crown of her head that was always kept neatly trimmed to a sheer dark cap of stubble, preferring not to hassle keeping up with longer tresses, and it avoided the inevitable helmet-head that tended to come with the job, were she vain enough to consider it. Blue eyes moved idly across her desk while her hand fell to the back of her neck, dark lips pulled into what seemed to have become a permanent frown. The boy back on Earth continuously peered at her from the evacuation transport, in her mind, as a towering Reaper advanced with the growling bellow of its weapon charging. Sleep would likely elude her for yet another night.

"Welcome to the Citadel, Commander Shepard. Do you need ground transport?" The overly pleasant female voice sounded gratingly out of place as it filtered over the comm system, a voice disconnected from the chaos taking place in the Sol system and across the rest of the galaxy.

"I need to get to the hospital." Shepard spoke with unintended urgency, avoiding the sideways look of concern Joker locked her with.

"You gonna be alright, Commander?" Joker's tone, ever accompanied by the faint hint of a snicker, seemed to mask most of his concern with humor. Shepard had known him long enough to tell there was sincerity underneath.

"I'll be fine, Joker. Just get us docked, take a break."

"Yeah right, walking all over the Citadel is definitely a break. No thanks."

"Suit yourself, but who knows when we'll get another chance to come back and have a decent drink." She frowned, watching through the front window of the ship as it slowly settled into the docking bay, her voice muted to a whisper under her breath. "I know I'm gonna need one."

Her legs carried her mechanically past the elevator doors as she selected the fourth floor, her thoughts scattered and panicked with the worries of the night before. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, maybe she should turn back, buy some supplies and board the Normandy. Surely Thane would understand how busy she was gathering support for the war, bridging the Turian-Krogan conflict to birth an alliance. There was still time to walk away, still a chance to protect the reality she wanted rather than face it as it was. Her heart slammed in her chest and her gut sank with dread as the steady movement of the elevator came to a gentle halt and the doors slid open, pulling in a long breath of resolve. She couldn't do this...not now. She couldn't face him when so much was uncertain, but just as her hand lifted to select a different level, she caught the sight of tropical green set against a flash of sunset red. There was no turning back now. All at once, her fears were replaced by relief and that familiar need to be near him, a need she'd discreetly buried six months ago. The dark lenses of his eyes had found her, too, as he stood against the backdrop of the open Citadel beyond the thick glass wall behind him, still full of strength and health just as she remembered him, even if in appearance alone.

"Thane..." His name escaped her lips breathlessly as she stepped forward with renewed vigor, walking quickly past the precipus and across the short distance that separated them until her arms folded around him and his around her.

"Siha," Thane's voice was a soft, double-toned husk that carried slightly more gravel than she remembered as it churned in his throat. In a moment, the war was dispelled from her mind and the hospital melted away, lingering in the comfort of his arms as she cupped a hand against the smooth curve of his head and pressed her cheek to his. She held onto him firmly, feeling the sting of hot tears behind closed lids, though her thoughts raced against the tide to quickly regain composure and replace the tears with a rare smile.

"It's good to see you again...it's been too long. You look good." She leaned back enough to rest her forehead against his, a calloused thumb sliding gently against the almost chitinous flesh of his skull while her hand continued to cradle his head. "How've you been?"

"It is good to see you as well...I've missed you. I was beginning to think you might not get the chance to return here after I'd heard you were first in the Citadel." One of his hands lifted to cup against her head as hers had done to his, the two of them locked gently together at the forehead for a prolonged moment before finally stepping back, gesturing to two chairs and taking his own seat, waiting for her to follow.

"I wasn't sure if I'd be coming back, either...but I'm glad I did. What about your condition? Seems like the doctors are doing you some good."

"They have treated me well, but their care has only delayed the inevitable. I am grateful my time here was extended enough that I could spend it with my son, and made it possible to see you again. Admittedly, I was..hesitant to let you know I was here. I was not certain if your last memories of me should be in a hospital."

"Come on, Thane...don't talk like that. Not now..." Shepard's smile faded quickly, though she reached to take one of his hands in her own, peering down at the slender jade digits that had dispatched their fair share of lives, but somehow still knew how to touch tenderly, her thoughts wandering back to their time together on the Normandy. His free hand lifted to rest over her own, fingers curling to gently squeeze with her own grasp on him, a steady reassurance.

"Apologies...I do not wish to upset you." His voice quieted, offering her a faint smile, the only kind of smile he ever seemed to give.

"Why don't you come back to the Normandy with me? For moral support." Her words carried a slight chuckle toward the end as she attempted to recover from the reminder of the harsh reality that laid in Thane's near future, her smile faltering as it struggled to return.

"You know I can not...even as much as I would like to. I require daily medical care, and would be of no use to you in battle. I would rather not sit idly by, watching you face the Reapers without me. My place is here now."

"Your place is with me! By my side..." Her voice rose slightly with urgency and sudden indignance, pushing out a rough sigh as she leaned back in her chair, letting her hands slip away from his. He peered at her quietly, silence bridging the gap between them until Shepard's brows flinched, dragging her fingers briefly across her forehead as if to wipe her frantic thoughts away. "I'm sorry..."

"There is nothing to apologize for, Siha. How long will you remain docked here at the Citadel?"

"A couple days...maybe a little longer depending on the crew and how wasted they get. Can't afford any hangovers once we hit the mass relay."

"Then I will return with you to the Normandy, for as long as you are able to stay. I can come and go from here as I please, so long as I receive my daily treatments. But when it is time for you to move on, Shepard, you must leave me behind. It is better that you do not have to worry about me. The Normandy faces the same dangers as you on your missions. Would you not become distracted by your fears for me, if your ship were to be compromised in battle, and lose focus on the tasks you must accomplish?"

She hated the sense he was making of the situation, wondering if he himself had considered returning to the ship to rejoin her, remembering the statuesque stillness of his seated form many months ago when he'd stared out at the passing stars in meditation. Had he wished to be with her all this time, just as she had, wanting to deny his illness and continue the fight? She'd always trusted in his abilities, never doubting he could dodge danger and kill swiftly, but now things were different. It almost seemed ridiculous now, taking a dying drell onto the team to battle the Collectors and all others that stood in their way. He'd never complained and likely expected to die in the fray, but a nagging guilt had been with her ever since he'd departed her ship. Had all the exertions and differing climates of the worlds they'd visited encouraged the progress of his disease? If it had, Shepard was confident Thane would never tell her. She couldn't ask him to endure more stress and strain now, after everything he'd already done. She allowed her smile to return, if only faintly.

"Alright...I guess it's a good compromise."


	2. Chapter 2

"EDI?" Shepard's voice rose inquisitively while her eyes moved upward as if speaking to the sky beyond the Normandy's walls, a habit she couldn't help but repeat when the AI's physical body was elsewhere. With no point of physical reference, it seemed the natural inclination was to speak to the stars.

"Yes, Commander?" The voice sounded more human than mechanical, save for the slight monotone with which it spoke.

"Is Joker still on the Normandy?"

"No, Commander. We are currently in the Citadel. Jeff insisted he should accompany me."

"Not a bad idea. Some people might have some...issues with an AI synthetic body walking around. No one's going to forget about the geth anytime soon."

"If you are worried, we can return."

"No...no, EDI, I'm sure you can handle yourself. Keep an eye on Joker for me, will you? Make sure he doesn't get too smashed, just in case we have to haul ass ahead of schedule."

"Yes, Commander."

Silence fell over the Normandy once more, an eerie sort of quiet that made Shepard's skin crawl. Awful memories of an empty ship rose to the forefront of her mind, though she quickly turned her attention back to Thane, the sight of him helping to chase away the ache of those old scars. "Well...looks like we've got the place to ourselves. We could go to the crew deck and find you something to eat and drink. Can't imagine the hospital food's been top of the line."

"If memory serves, neither was the food on the Normandy." A grin slid briefly across the drell's bisected lips as he stepped closer to her, though he made no other advance.

"Cracking jokes now?" Shepard smirked, returning his offered step with one of her own, the distance between them growing ever smaller.

"It is a recent development. Truthfully, the food here was terrible."

"Yeah, well...good company usually made up for it."

"I agree." Thane braved another step closer to dispell the remaining distance, bringing their bodies close enough that their chests gently grazed one another, finally lifting his hands to let them come to rest against Shepard's upper arms. His head tilted slightly at the sensation of her hands returning the touch to his chest, her fingers hesitantly ascending to his shoulders. He smiled, watching her sea-blue gaze lift to meet the abyssal black that covered his own emerald irises. He drew her closer as she leaned forward, the soft warmth of her lips pressing against the smooth glossiness of his, tentative and restrained, until their mouths broke apart with the heated huff of a choked breath.

Shepard's arms drew tightly around him as she pressed her face into the nook between his shoulder and neck, tears brimming behind her lids despite her internal battle against them. Lips drawn tight, she pulled in a quick, labored breath through her nostrils. The sound was a dead giveaway, Thane's nimble fingers gliding upward to cup the sides of her head before the soft pads of his thumbs moved across the curve of her cheekbones to gather and clear away the tears that had managed to fall. "Siha...?"

"I missed you so much. I was so afraid I'd never get to see you again...that it would be too late. You left so quickly, and didn't leave me any way of contacting you. All this time, every day I wondered and worried and had no way of knowing if you were still alive. I watched the Reapers set Earth on fire, and there was no one I could turn to. To have been able to hear your voice, or read a message from you...anything...And I can't even be angry with you because for all we know this could be the last day we ever spend together. So much time...lost." She broke slowly away from him, surprised at her own anger, an emotion that had seethed hidden underneath the heartbreak of missing him, of all the uncertainty and dread that haunted her daily since he'd left. Her tears were quelled by the rise of that fresh wound, one she'd nursed in so many private moments over the several months they'd been apart.

"It was unforgiveable of me to leave you that way. Please believe me when I say that it was no easy task to walk away from this ship or from you, but...my son needed me, and I knew my illness would advance. With your ties to Cerberus and the Illusive Man severed, it was certain that reintigration with the Alliance was inevitable, and that you would have many responsibilities to attend to and many hardships to face. I did not want you to watch my health decline on top of everything else that has been laid across your shoulders. That aside, I still have many enemies who wish to kill me or avenge old targets. I lost the ones I loved once before...I did not want our relationship to become well known. I could not bear to lose you the way I lost Irikah. I wanted to stay with you, Siha, and I shared your worries and concerns every moment...but staying away, severing contact was the only way I knew to keep you from potential harm. I...could not see an alternative that would not put you at risk."

"Then why contact me now...why invite me to see you?" She already knew the answer. He was close to death, and any enemies he had would likely learn of his illness finally claiming his life, removing their reasons to continue pursuing him or those he cared for. She was only wasting the precious time they had left together, pulling in and then expelling a slow, restorative breath as she wiped at the lingering moisture clinging to her lids. "Forget it...I'm sorry. None of this matters now, I just..."

"Siha..." Thane advanced slowly, segmented brow ridges arched with concern as he reached to grasp her hands in his. "It wasn't that I doubted you could defend yourself. I have seen you lay waste to Collectors and husks, even a massive Reaper...I have witnessed you survive against all odds. But I did not wish to become so confident in your abilities that I became reckless or blind to other dangers. You have every right to be angry with me...I-" A rattling breath abruptly triggered a chronic series of husky coughs that seemed to tremble in his chest and throat, releasing her hands to fist one of his own over his mouth, the other pressing hard to the wall to steady himself.

"Thane?" The anger and frustration had vanished from Shepard's voice, stepping quickly closer in case he needed her to further steady him. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, Shepard...it is not your fault." He spoke breathlessly, pausing for a long moment to regain his composure. Back straightening, his hands sought hers out again. "Your anger is valid...and deserved. But I would rather have you angry with me, than see you dead."

"I'm not angry with you, Thane...god, I don't know why I had to even bring it up. What matters is we're together now. I've wanted this for so long, and I've been caught up in so much beurocratic bullshit with the Council. When we fought the Collectors, I always had a way to vent. I knew...for the most part, who my friends and enemies were. You were there to reassure me. I didn't realize how much I depended on you...on everyone in the Normandy to pull me through, until everyone was gone. I know you had to be with Kolyat. I know you were only trying to protect me." She took one of his seeking hands to lead him toward and into the elevator, selecting the uppermost level where her quarters awaited them, the steady hum of smooth mechanics sounding as they were gently lifted.

"It is easy to forget your own mortality. I, myself, always felt invincible by your side in battle." He squeezed her hand, offering another muted smile. "Exhilerating...but also dangerous, to feel as if there is no way to fail."

"Yeah...I have a feeling it's not gonna feel the same way this time around." The chuckle in her voice contrasted with the weary look on her face as the elevator doors slid open, stepping out and across the stretch of hallway separating them from her quarters. She moved her hand over the glowing green orb display to trigger the door to open, leading Thane inside once the two sides of the entryway moved apart and then back together behind them.

"Probably not...there is much more at stake now. It must be an intimidating burden to bear, knowing the entire galaxy is relying on you to find a way through this war."

"Understatement of the year. Want a drink?" She didn't wait for his answer, opening one of the drawers under her desk area to pull out an old bottle that had apparently been stored away for quite some time, moving across the cabin to gather a plastic cup from the washroom dispensary, normally used simply for collecting water to rinse out her mouth after brushing.

"Sure. It has been some time since I had one. The nurses tend to be uneccessarily strict about my diet." Thane settled himself on the couch, reclining slightly against the cushions.

"Well, you know what they say; wine is good for the blood. I guess yours could take all the help it can get."

"Indeed." He accepted the cup Shepard offered that had already been filled, allowing himself a slow, quiet sip before releasing a rattling hum of satisfaction.

Shepard eased herself down beside him, taking her own less than delicate sip from the cup. It still tasted bittersweet, as if she'd opened the bottle for the first time. A hush fell over them as they simply sat and drank together, shoulders leaned into each other while their heads slowly drifted together. Thane's eyes, though typically difficult to read, seemed particularly unfocused and far away as he finished the portion of wine in his cup, leaning forward to set it down on the glass table nearby. Shepard watched as his elbows came to rest against his thighs, hands hanging limply between his knees, his head tilting slightly to glance at her over his shoulder.

"Thane...? Something wrong?" She leaned forward to put her cup down next to his, resting a hand over the curve of his upper back, allowing her fingers to slide slowly up and down along the line of his spine.

"I am not strong as I was before. As you said, we have lost a great deal of time. I have thought of this moment for so long, and now that it is here, I do not know how to proceed. I fear the possibility of disappointing you."

Shepard's brow furrowed for a moment before the meaning behind his words began to take shape in her mind, letting out a soft breath through her nose as she offered him a reassuring smile. She leaned closer to him, pressing a gentle kiss against the corner of his mouth, encouraging him to tilt his head and meet her lips with his again. The hesitance of their first kiss had all but gone, the gesture made bolder as Shepard moved close until her thigh pressed into his, the hand at his back guiding her fingers to curl against his shoulder to ease his arm around her. Her free hand moved over the bare section of his chest, warm lips parting faintly to glance his lower lip with her tongue as a clear invitation. He obliged, deepening the kiss with a grinding hum in his throat, wrapping both arms around to draw her closer until their chests where flushly pressed together. When their lips finally broke apart, Shepard's body leaned backward, pulling him gently along until his body hovered somewhat awkwardly above her own. "Don't worry about disappointing me, Thane. Nothing has to happen tonight...I just want to be with you, for as long as I can."

"I want that, too, Siha...more than anything." His fingers slid tenderly over the stubble-rough curve of her skull before leaning back and pulling her up to her feet with him, moving quietly to the bed where physical comfort would no longer be an issue compared to the limited space of the couch. They crawled together from the foot of the large bed and into the middle, Shepard offering him an almost playful grin as her shoulder nudged into his. Thane's smile seemed to return, spurred by hers, as he watched her ease down onto her side. He joined her without hesitation, tilting his upper body to peer down at her as one of her legs moved slowly to pull one of his own between them, exhaling slowly at the gentle pressure of her warm thighs hugged against his limb. Yet, his focus never wavered from her deep blue eyes, the square jaw, her strong roman nose, and shorn skull. It was the face of a warrior with a mother's eyes, gentle, weary, and pleading. He wished, suddenly, and perhaps inappropriately, that he could give her a child, a lasting piece of himself that would be with her when he no longer could be. Genetically speaking, it was at best an uncertainty, but realistically unlikely, and beyond that, conceiving a child in the middle of a war would be unwise. He would have to remember to speak with Kolyat, to tell him that if they survived the Reapers, never to repeat his mistake in neglecting contact with Shepard. She should at least have someone connected to him that she could confide in and share memories with, even if his son's memories of him were likely more limited than even Shepard's. His smile faded at the thought, recalling those old regrets that would be with him until the very end.

"Hey..." Shepard's voice was quiet, reaching up to rest her fingers against the ribbed curve of his jaw, drawing his attention back to the present. "What's the matter?"

His smile slowly returned, if only subtly, the pad of a thumb tracing the curve of her brow. "Nothing...absolutely nothing." He leaned in to kiss her as his weight came to rest fully beside and facing her, pulling her into a tight embrace. Their heads tilted in opposite directions, mouths fumbling hungrily for each other as they allowed the galaxy to fall away. They didn't have the luxury of time to linger long on old regrets, and couldn't afford to second guess. Thane's hands roamed the muscular curves of Shepard's body as though he'd never touched her before, slowly traversing and recognizing the familiar dips and crests of her form. He struggled to keep his breaths steady and slow despite the rising rate of his heartbeat. It had become easy to ignore such needs over time, and he'd grown accustomed once more to the lack of physical affections. He'd spent many years without such comforts before joining Shepard against the Collectors, but now that he could touch her again, lying in bed beside her and pressed against the warmth of her body, only now did he realize how parched and starved for her touch he'd been. They had only shared a single intimate night before he left to be with his son and arrived at Huerta Memorial, but he'd retained a perfect memory down to the last second. He'd indulged in the memory many times when he found himself alone in the hospital for extended periods, when he could do so in privacy. It was too intimate to recall in the presence of others. As weak as he felt, he couldn't help but be eager to gain new private memories that would help sustain and content him when the inevitable day of departure came.

Shepard's fingers moved slowly across his chest and up to the rise of his shoulders, pushing the open jacket down the wirey lengths of his arms while his hands pulled at her hips. Their tongues slid tenderly against each other in the warm protection of their joined mouths, like two serpents that couldn't quite reach with their coils, nuzzling and nudging, gliding along their shifting shapes. Thane felt the sudden sway of his head as a wave of dizziness fell over him from the restriction of breath, their lips breaking apart as he pulled for a deep inhale, masking the brief struggle by dropping his head down to Shepard's neck. His lips pressed eager kisses along the line of her jugular, eyes closed as he focused on warding off the haze of dizziness that flooded his vision with darkness lit by vague spots. He pulled in several long breaths to replenish depleted oxygen, the husk of a moan slithering from his throat when he felt the warmth of Shepard's hands unzipping and peeling away his tight upper garment to expose his bare torso. His head was swimming, a faint nausea churning within him; he prayed franticly in his mind that he could regain his strength, if only long enough to indulge Shepard and himself just once more. He gripped at the sheets on the other side of her body, pushing her onto her back in a forceful roll. He wouldn't allow his illness to steal this from them, determination and desire flooding his senses, exerting the steady discipline he'd built across the spance of many years working as an assassin. Never did he imagine he would need it for something like this. He nudged the side of her face with his, smooth-scaled skin sliding gently across her pale flesh. Her legs shifted beneath him to accomodate his lower body, calloused hands tracing the crest of his skull and down the arching curve of his upper back, warm lips moving across his cheek. They made love slowly and tenderly, savoring every moment as their bodies shifted and coiled in mutual ecstacy. Even when the climax of the evening was reached, they didn't fall away, cradling one another as they panted for breath and wallowed in the afterglow, the months of separation forgotten. For a while, they could cling to the fantasy of safety, could ignore the ever-present threat of death and destruction the Reapers had brought to the galaxy. For now, they could sleep soundly.


End file.
